loneliness......

lonely
has been haunting me for 5 years
cant seem to find the track tat i wan
where should i go
wat should i do
waited n waited
but nothing seems to be right
life so suxz
can never get it bright

with or without you

with or without you
i know i m not the right person
with me
got nothing to win and nothing else to lose
you give urself away

without u
my hands tied
my body bruised
i wanna wait but
nobody wanna see u with me

with or without u
i cant live with or without u

20th MAY

another ordinary day past
remain secret
only those who knew
thanks very much
love ya all
muakzzzzz

snoopy

pearly oh auntie
u will always be my snoopy la
thanks
thanks to all
muakzzzzzz

bitezzzzzzzzzzz

gonna get bite by someone next year
hope i wont get rabies
hehehe
no regrets as memories go by
cheers~~~

13th May

13th of May
a very special day for a gal
how i wish i can be
the one to celebrate with her
but
will never be
and
wont be if there's a chance
i have taken a big escape
to be Alvin

timezzzzz

time where did ya go?
y did u leave me here alone...
argh!!!!!!!
time just pass so slow yet so fast
not in the mood of studying
just bear with another year to go

sickzzzzzzzzz

been sick for the past 2 weeks with flu n fever
thought of to start studying for exam but failed by swine flu
miss somebody somewhere
long to call her but didnt
sighzzzz
cant wait to see her by then
hope she's doin fine

LIVERPOOLZzzzzz rockzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

» 04.04.09 14.34 Сумма 20.00 грн выиграна, к выплате 51.00грн

Вид ставки Результат Событие Ставка Коэф. Сумма Начало Ординар выиграна Блекберн - Тоттенхэм Победа 1 2.55 20.00 грн 04.04.09 14:45

» 04.04.09 14.33 Сумма 110.00 грн выиграна, к выплате 228.00грн

Вид ставки Результат Событие Ставка Коэф. Сумма Начало Ординар выиграна Вест Бромвич - Сток Сити 2-я с форой [0] 2.40 20.00 грн 04.04.09 17:00 Ординар выиграна Ньюкасл - Челси 2-я с форой [-1] 2.15 30.00 грн 04.04.09 17:00 Ординар выиграна Болтон - Мидлсбро Победа 1 2.05 30.00 грн 04.04.09 17:00 Ординар выиграна Арсенал - Манчестер С 1-я с форой [-1] 1.80 30.00 грн 04.04.09 17:00

» 04.04.09 10.53 Сумма 5.44 грн ожидаются результаты событий

Вид ставки Результат Событие Ставка Коэф. Сумма Начало Экспресс выиграна Блекберн - Тоттенхэм бол [2.5] 2.10 5.44 грн 04.04.09 14:45 Арсенал - Манчестер С бол [2.5] 1.95 04.04.09 17:00 выиграна Болтон - Мидлсбро бол [2.5] 2.20 04.04.09 17:00 выиграна Халл - Портсмут мен [2.5] 1.70 04.04.09 17:00 выиграна Ньюкасл - Челси мен [2.5] 1.75 04.04.09 17:00 выиграна Вест Бромвич - Сток Сити мен [2.5] 1.75 04.04.09 17:00 выиграна Вест Хэм - Сандерленд мен [2.5] 1.63 04.04.09 17:00 k= 160.549 Фулхэм - Ливерпуль бол [2.5] 2.10 04.04.09 19:30

dam again

» 28.03.09 15.05 Сумма 5.00 грн

проиграна

Вид ставки	Результат	Событие	Ставка	Коэф.	Сумма	Начало
Экспресс	выиграна	Румыния - Сербия	Тотал матча: бол [2]	1.78	5.00 грн	28.03.09 20:45
	выиграна	Мальта - Дания	Тотал матча: бол [2.5]	1.50		28.03.09 21:00
	выиграна	Армения - Эстония	Тотал матча: бол [2]	1.70		28.03.09 18:00
	выиграна	Люксембург - Латвия	бол [2.5]	2.05		28.03.09 18:00
	выиграна	Уэльс - Финляндия	мен [2.5]	1.58		28.03.09 17:00
	проиграна	Молдова - Швейцария	бол [2.5]	2.00		28.03.09 18:45
	выиграна	Израиль - Греция	Тотал матча: бол [2]	1.80		28.03.09 20:00
	выиграна	Кипр - Грузия	Тотал матча: мен [3]	1.35		28.03.09 20:00
k= 122.895	выиграна	С. Ирландия - Польша	Тотал матча: бол [2]	1.72		28.03.09 19:15

small jackpotzzzz

» 21.03.09 22.40 Сумма 10.00 грн

выиграна, к выплате 46.82грн

Вид ставки	Результат	Событие	Ставка	Коэф.	Сумма	Начало
Экспресс	выиграна	Уиган - Халл	Победа 1	1.70	10.00 грн	22.03.09 15:30
	выиграна	Манчестер С - Сандерленд	Победа 1	1.62		22.03.09 17:00
k= 4.682	выиграна	Ливерпуль - Астон Вилла	1-я с покупкой [-1.5+0.5=-1]	1.70		22.03.09 18:00

footballzzzzzzzzzz

» 21.03.09 12.08 Сумма 9.00 грн

выиграна, к выплате 4.50грн

Вид ставки	Результат	Событие	Ставка	Коэф.	Сумма	Начало
Экспресс	выиграна	Ньюкасл - Арсенал	бол [2.5]	1.85	9.00 грн	21.03.09 19:30
	выиграна	Фулхэм - Манчестер Юн	мен [2.5]	1.75		21.03.09 17:00
	выиграна	Блекберн - Вест Хэм	мен [2.5]	1.72		21.03.09 17:00
	выиграна	Портсмут - Эвертон	бол [2.5]	2.10		21.03.09 14:45
	проиграна	Вест Бромвич - Болтон	бол [2.5]	2.00		21.03.09 17:00
	выиграна	Тоттенхэм - Челси	мен [2.5]	1.70		21.03.09 17:00
k= 65.602	выиграна	Сток Сити - Мидлсбро	мен [2.5]	1.65		21.03.09 17:00

Roulettezzzzzzzz

every saturday morning will spend my time in club 2005 which it is a small casino with 1 roulette machine n around 20 slot machine...... usually ppl would wake up late on the weekends but i rather wake up early to spend my weekends.....
500grn=50 pound left only in my wallet..... i need to survive with tat till the end of march...... just felt lucky today so here i come roulette.....
my fav number on roulette is 26,0, 32 which i never fail to buy every round...... neither of this number came out for the first 20 rounds but i did win a bit from other numbers.... 35 n 12 came out quite a lot of times which i bought in small stakes.....
staking there n here i finally won 1kgrn=100pound..... cash out my money..... the moment i cash out my winning money the number 32 came out..... i was like goshh..... i m just miss a round..... so unlucky..... well in roulette wise if tat number keep on coming out if will come out more often..... slot in just 50grn n whack all the money on the number 26,0,32...... ball spinning...... drop..... on 26....... yahooo..... with tat 50grn i won 500 grn...... whack again...... whoahhhhh.... 26 again..... this time i got another 800grn......
when u r lucky u can win how much u wan even with 50grn...... sometimes i even lose till 3kgrn=300 pound.....
cash out the money total won around 2000grn.....

the callzzzz

she answered my call after so many years...... yeapp...... it's been a while i didnt try to contact her somehow after i added her in my facebook...... the feeling of glad, happy yet sad after hearing her voice...... arghhhh...... still cant forget tat old voice of hers..... anyhow i have to talk to her normally or else...... hahahaa...... she responded to me normally too n tat makes me more glad tat she finally move on n forget the past..... even though we spoke like 2 mins on the phone my feeling of queries has gone now...... i feel so release....

Sarah

when i turn around
now yer off with someone else
i know it is the best
sometimes i try to hide what i m feeling inside
i just cant figure it out
it's been quite sometimes
memories, suppose to fade away
wat's with me
shake it off, let it go
be strong n move on.
maybe I regret
everything I said
no way to take it all back
now I'm on my own
I'll never understand

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you.

futurezzzz

still goin thru with ma life here..... sigh...... time is ticking n yet i'm still dunno wat i'm suppose to do..... most of the time i feel like leaving everything behind..... give up with my life..... but no i cant do tat..... more adventures right in front...... i cant just end ma life at age 24 n it's suxzzzz...... tell me why..... why i have to live...... why m i here..... why is there life...... life really suxzz.....

weirdzzzzzzz

didnt attend 1st 3 lectures.... only attend for the last 2 lectures of ophthalmology..... then went to dean office to sign some application for my miss classes.... arghhh.....


back to my room..... sitting down in front of my laptop n started facebooking...... n guess wat...... weirdest thing tat i dun aspect to happen was...... somebody actually approve my fren request..... n tat somebody i tried to add to my fren list which been ignored for the past 5 years in friendster suddenly approve my request in facebook..... whoaaahhh..... now i can continue to stalk her back hahaha..... neh..... she got her own life now..... n i got mine..... just feeling very very weird n query bout y of all of sudden???? anyway..... dun wanna think too much bout it..... just let it be......
besides she's attached to someone as well..... hahaha..... good to see tat..... yet jealousy n enviness in me i have to control..... there's no point for me anymore.....

i know i couldn't do anything about tat as i.... i....

miss her so much....

wanna meet her up.....

but......

sigh...... she's attached.... sigh....... how i wish but will never be me..... just live with it.....

weird weird weird.....

glad all of us move on.......

life suxzzzzzzz.................

Valentine's day n the big escape

wat is this all about??? expressing their love to each other by sending valentine's cards, flowers, confectionery and etc.....

valentine suxz..... 1st n last i ever celebrate valentine was in the year 2003..... since then.... always being lonely in my own world..... hahahahaha.....

i wanna make a big escape.... escape from this feeling.... feeling of falling in love with someone..... even though i really wanna make this relationship come true n last..... but now it's not time yet.... i still got plenty of things to do in my life..... i cant let this be a burden to me..... i seriously need to let go of it.....

throw it away n forget yesterday, i wanna make a big escape......

suxzzzz.......

suxzzz.... so suxzzzz..... y i have to be in this situation yet i can just snap out of it...... life is so suxzz..... life is full of decisions n regrets which make life so suxz yet astonishing.... well ppl say life goes on..... no decisions no regrets no problems no wat so eva means no life.....

a feeling inside me which i cant describe..... mixing of depress, regrets, lonely, anger, sad, query, jealousy, impatience and more..... makes me wannna go nuts....... time just pass so slow yet so fast..... sigh..... nobody can understand the feeling i m goin thru now..... so suxzzz...... *^%#@!&&*^%$##%@#$%

satisfactionzzzzzzzz.........

what is satisfaction???
it means the fulfillment or gratification of a desire, need, or appetite. Pleasure or contentment derived from such gratification.

well, in life u can never ever satisfy a person or yourself..... this is life..... no matter wat u do..... u can never get tat vocab in ur life..... when, how, where or wateva is it can give u the satisfaction in life is the end of life..... tat's the fact n way of life.....

even though u said tat u r satisfied with somethings but deep within u wan more.... u wan more n more to overcome ur fulfillment but actually there's never been..... it's infinite....

therefore no matter wat u do in life..... life is always suxz..... u can never fulfill ur life ur dream or wateva it is..... u can only live ur life as much as u can get n give.....

weekendzzzz lamezzzzzzzzz

another boring weekend for me..... whole day with my butt sticking on the chair surfing the net n watching movies...... this is wat i did for the past years when i m in this f*kup place during the weekends..... anyway i did spend like 3-4 hours chasing a futsal ball in stadium during the sat..... hahaha.....

cant wait..... just cant wait for the time to come..... wateva it is i wan time to pass as fast as possible....
summer holidays.........
graduation...........
work........
EPT..............
WSOP.......
APPT.......
etc........

i just wanna get my body out of this place.....

EPT - European Poker Tour

EPT

European Poker Tour

the grand final going to be held in MONACO Monte Carlo Casino
from 28 april 2009 till 3 may 2009.

buy in: Euro 10k + 600

capacity: 1000 players

Omg..... it's poker tourney..... i wanna join so badly...... too bad i m still having classes at tat time......... arghhhh.... with 10k buy in and 1000 players playing..... total jackpot will be 10 MIL........ goshhhh...... it's so much better than striking RM20 mil jackpot in sportstoto msia <---- booo!!!!! suxzzz....... well i think too far beyond dy...... well..... playing texas hold em tourney is all bout skillz how to mastermind your opponents..... besides skillz definitely u need a bit of luck too.... hahahhaaa....



my poker tourney history in gala casino since dec 2008..... first time i joined the tourney was 20 pound buy in n i got 6th place out of 50 players..... cool eih.... unfortunately prizes paid off from top 5.... suxzzzz.....


before CNY joined a 10 pound buy in tourney..... guess wat..... i got 5th place out of 40 players..... this time i thought i will get paid.... the manager told me tat only top 4 will get the prizes..... dam it..... i m so close to it.....


after CNY.... felt tat my luck have change since it's the year of OX n i m an ox too.... time for a revenge..... joined 10 pound buy in poker tourney..... guess wat..... yes!!!!!!!!! i beated 47 players out of 50...... means..... i got 3rd in the tourney..... finally i won something from this tourney.... 3rd place 80 pound... not bad.... hahahhaa..... thanks to my angel........ if not because of her i think i would have been knocked out in the semifinals.....


29 jan 2009.... this time i joined the 20 pound buy in tourney..... fight all the way thru again..... got 5th place..... top 5 paid off.... another 50 pound..... yeah.... my luck tat night was kinda down...... i would have got 2nd or 3rd if not of my 2 pairs lost to a straight..... tat fellow so lucky cos the river card helped him to get the straight..... arghhh..... still cant forget tat moment of shock..... poker shock.... hahahaha...... anyway 5th place still not bad......

joined texas hold em poker tourney in gala casino 6 times......
managed to the final table( top 10 ) 4 times.....
another 2 times been knocked out in the 1st round itself....

Someone

There's something in your eyes,
makes me wanna lose myself.
There's something in your voice,
makes my heart beat fast.
Hope this feeling will last.

If you knew how lonely my life has been,
and how long i have been so alone.
If you knew how i wanted to come with ya,
and change my life.

If you knew how much tat moment means to me,
and how long i have waited for your touch.
If you knew how happy ya making me,
i've never thought i would love you so much.

New Year celebration at embankment street london

reach the embankment street of london at 1900 31 dec 2008..... i was away to look for toilet n the others searching for a perfect spot for the celebration countdown n fireworks show..... dam it took me like half an hour standing in the queue before i manage to get a leak in the loo in starbuck...... well.... really need to empty the bladdder before standing in the cold from 1900 till midnight..... gosh crazy shyt 5 hours we gonna wait there for the countdown n fireworks..... after the loo ma sis called me to wait somewhere to join them to get McD for snacks..... reached McD n it was packed n the queue for the toilet was worse cos i told ma sis better the empty ur bladder first if not later gonna be a big prob searching for a toilet..... done buying McD snacks..... gals done with nature's call...... back to the picnic spot....lol........ basically all of us sitting down on the street chit chatting, enjoying the lighting of the london's eye though there's nothig special in it yet, playing games........ as time goes by, few by few of em need to go to the loo..... and it's like 2200 n they better hurry cos the street is getting filled up with lots lots of people u never know how long u gonna take to wait for ur turn for the toilet...... hahahaa..... gals will take longer time than guys...... 2300 all gathered back together at the spot and the street was really packed now..... our spot place getting smaller n smaller...... wat to do..... bear with it..... ma sis whispered to me " shyt i need to go toilet "..... wat????? now?????? if u go now i m sure u gonna miss the countdown.... so told her just to hang on there for another hour.... coming to realise tat i also kinda need a toilet too..... bear it bear it..... ik shyan was trying hard to hold on her bladder but at the end she gave up n went searching for the toilet with hong ning n huey yi..... tat was like 2320 dy.... they sure gonna miss the countdown with us...... aite stop with all this toilet thingie..... back to the crowd..... now the street is totally pack..... projecting system displaying all the new year msges from famous celebrities..... live DJ from hitz FM playing songs........ all of us snapping photos of each other for remembrance of our new year eve celebration in london...... n the experience waiting outside the cold for 5 hours just for the fireworks..... hahaha.....
2359 another min to a whole new year of 2009 n goodbye 2008..... everyone was so excited bout it.... to the countdown... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR...... group hug n greetings to all.... miss out ik shyan, hong ning n huey yi.... too bad.... clock rang 12 times then silence of all sudden.... Boom...... firework show begun as everyone really looking forward at it.... spectacular firework show...... flashes of cameras n videos were everywhere...... 10 mins firework show.... check out in youtube..... very nice n spectacular indeed..... music was created by the sound of the fireworks which was planned by an italian guy i guess.... hahahhaa..... after the firework show..... everyone headed back home as ma sis n i waiting for ikshyan, hong ning n huey yi to bring em back to the hostel..... while waiting.... londoners n foreigners came to us greeted happy new year n a massive hug for us..... 3 of em finally back from the loo like after an hour plus n lead em back to our hostel somewhere in piccardily street....
Happy new year to everyone........

Open heart

on the 25 dec 2008 xmas night...... goin out for a photo shoot under the city light. waited for another group of frens outside the campus. here they come walking out thru their hostel entrance door 1 by 1.... my eyes straight turn to the gal who wore a grey trench coat with black high boots..... wat is this feeling??? the feeling tat i never felt for the past 6 years..... is this love at first sight??? i guess not cos i did notice her during the xmas dinner..... wat is this feeling??? i have closed my heart for the past 6 years.... i recognise this feeling before..... why now??? why suddenly this feeling came into my life now???? my heart pound so fast n hard when i look at her...... well.... i know tat this feeling is just a fluctuation so kept it steady for a moment maybe it will be gone soon enuf..... hahahhaaa......

never even thinking of getting into a relationship after a very bad i mean really bad experience i had in 2003..... since then i closed my heart n never been open to any other gals for the past 6 years..... but now i dunno how n why is this feeling so strongly pushing me to let go the past n start all over again..... open heart it is now.........

Xmas night

xmas night dinner........ big feast with all ma sis's frens...... after dinner gift exchange again n chit chatting...... introduction by ma sis to them...... quite a number of em so cant remember some of their names on spot but manage to after a while getting into the atmosphere.... thought i will be alone there as i m new there n got nothing to talk much about until i met kwang siang my very the only bintulu guy fren i had there.... hahaha.... started to chit chat bout stuff this n tat..... very nice dinner indeed...... after the dinner gift exchange take place..... people receiving the gift have to guess who is the santa.... hahahaa.... funny moments....... then few of us went out to George's square for a city photo shooting.....

wonderful, happy, joyful xmas moment i had....... merry xmas n thank you to whoever was there on xmas night........ muakzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Xmas eve

woke up quite early in the morning n getting ready for more shopping. having hard time waking up ma sis from sleep as she likes to sleep a lot..... i mean A LOT.... hahahaa..... as usual shopping shopping walking around the street looking a perfect gift for a fren. then had lunch with ma sis's frens debbie, ivy, liven n her bf thomas in counting house near George's square. after a very filling lunch headed straight to Gala Casino again.... this time we lose again..... hahaha.... so sad.... nvm my time will come soon.... back home to ma sis's room wrapping all the gifts..... xmas eve dinner with ma sis's frens..... took pic together, listening xmas songs, chit chatting, exchanging n opening xmas gifts, playing games and not to forget the chocolate fountain gift from ma sis's house to jac's house where we had our xmas eve dinner. took em quite some time to operate the choco fountain. hahahaha so funny...... first try of tat the whole melted choco flying around the dinning table..... everyone shouted n laugh..... goshhh....... after some time they succeeded in operating it. the dinner was superb n everyone was happy n joyful.....

this is my first xmas dinner with such joyful n happy environment in my life..... will cherish it forever n ever...... thanks to ik shyan, hong ning, su vyen, jac lee, voon jia n her bf foo keong who flew all the way from msia to celebrate xmas n new year with her dam it.... hahahaa..... shaw pei from MU i guess, huey yi, yen li n her bf chia hong......

beautiful xmas dinner with ya all.... muakzzzzzzzz..... merry xmas to u all........

Glasgow Scotland

reached glasgow prestwick airport at 1300 on 23 dec 2008 n ma sis suppose to wait there for me. she's late with another fren ik shyan for 15 mins. took a train heading back to ma sis's campus James Blyth Court. putting down my luggage n took a bath before heading out for a city view n xmas shopping. the whole street was packed with shoppers. i did bought some stuff for myself besides xmas gifts for frens. after shopping straight ma sis brought me to my very fav place on earth.... CASINO!!!!!!! yeah....... no luck lose around 100 pound.

Journey to glasgow from ukraine thru poland

took a bus from Ternopil Ukraine to Krakow Poland on 21 dec 2008. had lots of problem when passing thru the border cos of my invalid student card but still manage to get thru. it's a good thing to have a malaysian passport as i dun need a visa to enter any countries except Israel. reached krakow city at bout 5 in the morning n it's drizzling outside. i m new to the place n had a hard time looking a hostel to stay in. finally found a hostel called HONEY HOSTEL. check in at 6 am after walking around the city under the pouring rain. took a map from the reception n saw tat this hostel is kinda located a bit outskirt of the city n i m like gosh.... anyway it's my first time though. had a short sleep before starting to have a city tour. it's a beautiful city n the main attraction for tourist is the churches, wawel royal castle and salt mine. after a day of touring around had a meal in a shopping complex with McD big mac menu n a bowl of salad. back to the hostel tiredly fall asleep early as my flight to glasgow was 1030. check out at 0630 next day n off we go to glasgow scotland. reached glasgow prestwick airport at around 1pm n ma sis suppose to pick me up there n she's late.

4 Feb 2009

just recover from cornea abrasion which i got hit by the tip of a shuttle cock during badminton competition on last weekend. didnt attend classes for past 3 days. as today i been day dreaming in my room bout the past trip i been to glasgow scotland. actually i was there twice, celebrating xmas n new year with ma sis n frens. after tat back to the place where the last place i wanna be on earth for another week plus then back to glasgow scotland for chinese new year celebration. i m so happy to be able celebrating these special occasions with ma sis n frens there after 6 years jailing myself in ukraine.